The dog probably smelled where his finger had been…
Bad joke, I know.
Here is the backstory, if you’d like to read it.
I started dating the person I’m currently seeing right as she was getting out of an abusive long term marriage. He left her with thousands of dollars in debt and took one of her dogs, a dog that she felt was like her own child. A few months of time passed and we eventually got word from his parents that he was in no mental condition to take care of the animal let alone himself, so we drove out to meet them and pick our baby girl back up. But something was wrong, she was not the same pup and now we fear he was abusing her.
Since returning home she has been involved in several fights with the other boy pup who assumed the role of lead dog since she left. One fight as so bad she had pierced his cheek with her teeth and as we were trying to pull them apart we saw it tearing and had to use something to pry them apart, all of which resulted in hundreds of dollars in vet trips.
On top of all of this we have had her oldest cat break her hip and have to make several trips to the vet herself after developing an infection in the broken area. But all of that seems like nothing now as I look down at my bandaged hands typing these words out on a keyboard. Forcing myself past the sting of blinding pain that is typing at all and push these words past the fog in my head that is the pain medication starting to take affect.
After a failed night of trying to cheer ourselves up me and the girlfriend headed home for some quiet. She had been called into work on her last day of vacation and we just wanted it to be over. I sat there on her bed with two pups as the third boy walked upstairs. He had grown very close to me recently and became jealous when the others were near me. He saw them and began to growl, I reached out and calmed him down but the other pup started barking. I turned to push her aside to make room for him to come cuddle and that’s when he lunged at her in full attack mode and I felt a sharp stabbing pain. I knew I was bit but had no idea how bad. I just clenched it and tried to separate them. My girl ran in when she heard the screaming and we worked to get them apart. I ran into the bathroom and wrapped my hand in a towel to stop the bleeding but didn’t stop to look at the damage until she asked “is it gone” and as I peeled the towel back I saw something you should never see. Something you should never feel. A sight I can’t stop seeing every time I close my eyes. I can’t even describe how hard it is to write this post and be forced to relive this… but I saw it gone. The tip bursting with blood around the edges from where once my right hand ring finger was.
Shock set in and that is where things got blurry. I remember medics, being asked name age, etc and the several really painful nerve blocks that followed. If one has never felt a nerve block, the most I can say is imagine a root canal… in your finger… now imagine that process without painkillers times a thousand and that is what each needle feels like before the injection of burning fluids that force you to feel like your entire body is being torn apart on an atomic level. I had to receive several of these and yet this was not the worst pain I felt that night. Losing my finger, the injections, the shock, none of it was as bad as watching the woman I love more than my own life sit there by my side in tears, blaming herself for everything and coming to terms with the realization that she was going to have to put down one of her babies, the same one who despite all this is still my favorite. I can’t even sleep anymore without seeing the images of her in tears replay over and over.
The next few days have been a blur of anxiety and waking up screaming. One day I woke up with my bandage off and I was just starring at it after waking up from a nightmare of having it bit off again. Every time I go back to the doctor to get it redressed and checked up on I have to just sit there, starring at it. It’s still open, you can still see the joint. Because of the nature of the wound they can’t stitch it closed so it just has to heal over.
Worst past is just two days before this happened I sucked in my pride and crowd funded her cat’s vet bills… so now I feel like I’ve already tapped all my friends who could help so I just got to suck it up. On the bright side, I’ve been making a lot of finger and hand puns lately.